Death is a part of living and we will all have to face it in our lifetimes at some point or another. I have dealt with very tragic losses in my personal life and seeing other families go through that process is heart-wrenching and brings back many deep wounds. In nursing school we will all take some form of "Death and Dying" class, but will it really prepare us for our first patient loss? My school incorporated the teaching within its Psychology in Nursing class and it only briefly skimmed the surface of our role as nurses.
My first contact with a dying patient was in a long-term health facility. In a setting like that you expect death and even prepare for it, so the loss was easy to accept. My second encounter came on the pediatric floor and I watched for hours as the code team tried in vain to rescue a young girl. That was my first real experience with a sudden and tragic loss of a patient that deeply affected the family and staff. Watching the mother go into shock is an image that will forever be ingrained in my memory.
The next day the hospital held a meeting to discuss the loss of this patient. The primary physician, nurse, hospital coordinator, chaplain, counselors and I were all present. It was a great opportunity to talk about what happened and to really process the loss of this patient. The primary nurse asked the physician if there was anything more she could have done, while the physician responded with information that there was nothing that could have saved this patient. It was a wonderful way to get closure and to elevate any feelings of guilt that the staff may have encountered in a very positive and non-judgmental way.
Recently, I experienced another loss of a patient who was very young. From my previous experience, I was able to identify what resources were available to me and I found a very positive way to express my feelings and concerns about this patient loss.
In nursing school you may or may not come across the loss of one of your patients. If you do, be sure to contact your resources to help get you through that experience. Your clinical instructor will most likely be a helpful tool in finding other resources to utilize, as well as possibly coordinating a meeting with all of the staff involved in that loss. As nurses we need to prepare ourselves for death and dying in our careers, as well as ensure we are being healthy and taking care of our own mental, spiritual, and physical bodies.